Kafka Eat Your Heart Out

This afternoon I tried to find out how much a month to month DSL connection would cost. Most of the major brands had extremely unimformative websites, so imagine my delight when EarthLink offered the option of chatting live with a sales rep.

Cue the groans:

Thank you for choosing our secure EarthLink Sales chat. All agents are currently assisting other customers. Thank you for your patience. You are number '1' of '1' customers in line. Your estimated wait is '0' minutes and '5' seconds.Hello and welcome to Earthlink's secure live Sales chat. You are chatting with Jenny K..
Jenny K.: Hello. How can I help you today?
Jonah: hi, I want a quote on high speed internet access for two months, no plans
Jenny K.: Great, I can help you with that.
Jenny K.: Do you already have an account with us?
Jonah: no
Jenny K.: To do a check for service I will need your full name, phone number and complete physical address at that location.
Jonah: I don't have an address yet, I'll be renting a place in Bay City, Mi for July and august
Jenny K.: I will need the complete address and the phone number to check for the availability of High Speed at your location.
Jonah: can you just tell me what the price is?
Jenny K.: There are different offers for different locations, so I won't be able to give you the exact prices.
Jenny K.: Would you like to go for a Dial Up service?
Jonah: well, I know it will be in area code 48706
Jonah: no, I want dsl
Jenny K.: What company do you pay for local land line telephone access?
Jonah: so far, none
Jenny K.: Who is the local cable provider in your area?
Jonah: I don't know
Jenny K.: I will need a phone line to connect to the High Speed DSL service
Jonah: ok
Jonah: how much do you charge for the service?
Jenny K.: There are different charges.
Jonah: what are they?
Jenny K.: They start from 12.95/mon for the first six months and thereafter it is $29.95/mon.
Jenny K.: The DSL service has a contract of 12 months.
Jonah: how much for month to month
Jenny K.: You will have to monthly pay for the DSL service. But there is a contract of 12 months.
Jonah: how much if I only want the service for 2 months?
Jenny K.: We won't be able to provide the service for 2 months.
Jenny K.: As there is an agreement with this service.
Jonah: look at my first question on this chat, why didn't you answer it immediately?
Jonah: you just wasted both of our times
Jonah: bye
Jenny K.: Thank you for contacting EarthLink Live Sales Chat. To help us improve your customer experience please fill out the survey that will appear after this chat has closed. Good-bye and have a great day !!!

I mean, you've got to give the little minx-bot credit for chutzpah. Of course, no survey appeared once the window was closed. Pity, becasue I had some comments....

That's one person who will never, ever use EarthLink, congratulations Guys.