'Tis the Season
Mk is almost old enough for Christmas to matter. This year will probably be low key, but next year, it’ll be a big deal. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with the idea of Santa, and I’m not sure how I’ll handle it with the girl. I don’t understand the point of all these Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, St. Nick type lies. When I finally figured out that it was all a hoax (presents in the closet that later showed up under the tree from “Santa”), I was so embarrassed for my father, that I pretended to believe in Santa for another two years. I couldn’t handle telling him that I knew he was a liar .
Before my mother died, she had been the one trying to carry out the hoax. For some reason, it seems less like a betrayal coming from her. I suppose it was because she was so inept at it. One year, when we were all at my grandfather’s apartment in Peter Cooper Village, my cousint (that’s for you, T) and I slept on the floor, next to the tree. We stayed up so late, however, that all the adults fell asleep before they could sneak the boxes under the tree.
The next morning, during breakfast, my mom came running out of the bedroom with a armful of presents. “Santa just stopped by,” she said. “He apologized for not bringing them last night, because he was running late.” In retrospect, my grandfather rolling his eyes makes much more sense. She pulled the same trick on me when I was five and started losing my teeth. The tooth fairy was horribly inept, apparently, and couldn’t ever keep to her schedule. To this day, I still think of the her (the tooth fairy) as a frazzled, unkempt ditz, driving at rusty, dark green Gremlin.
So, you can see, I hope, why I don’t want the girl to be traumatized. Perhaps it’s a good lesson for her; never trust the old ones, they lie! I just don’t want it to be at my hands. And the realization comes too early, in my opinion.
God, I hate Christmas.
Before my mother died, she had been the one trying to carry out the hoax. For some reason, it seems less like a betrayal coming from her. I suppose it was because she was so inept at it. One year, when we were all at my grandfather’s apartment in Peter Cooper Village, my cousint (that’s for you, T) and I slept on the floor, next to the tree. We stayed up so late, however, that all the adults fell asleep before they could sneak the boxes under the tree.
The next morning, during breakfast, my mom came running out of the bedroom with a armful of presents. “Santa just stopped by,” she said. “He apologized for not bringing them last night, because he was running late.” In retrospect, my grandfather rolling his eyes makes much more sense. She pulled the same trick on me when I was five and started losing my teeth. The tooth fairy was horribly inept, apparently, and couldn’t ever keep to her schedule. To this day, I still think of the her (the tooth fairy) as a frazzled, unkempt ditz, driving at rusty, dark green Gremlin.
So, you can see, I hope, why I don’t want the girl to be traumatized. Perhaps it’s a good lesson for her; never trust the old ones, they lie! I just don’t want it to be at my hands. And the realization comes too early, in my opinion.
God, I hate Christmas.
Labels: Biographical, Family
posted by Jonah at 2:57 PM
4 Comments:
Dude, we really need to spend Christmas together more often so we can both hate it together. Maybe next year...
Who's T?
I've thought about the Santa thing myself with respect to Parker, but I can't get myself that worked up about it, though others I know share your point of view. I mean, it's certainly not the case that I'd never lie, or that I think lying is always morally wrong, or that I'd never want my daughter to see my lying. I'd think there are quite a few circumstances where it's just fine or neutral if not in some cases obligatory. From my perspective, I'd rather her see that Dad thinks it's important to be discerning in a given context than to be too focused on abstract rule following.
Just read your thing on Santa, the tooth-fairy etc. a little late for the whole Christmas thing but I found it very interesting and would like to respond.I never had Santa, but the tooth-fairy and easter bunny were part of the growing up process. I never felt cheated and lied to. I believe it is in how the parents do it that creates the proper atmosphere for the child.
I personally find great value in creating magic around the holiday time for children. It is important to remember that children live in pictures and by doing all these things that you might find to be lies you are actually playing to the imagination that the child has. This is why we read them stories (think of all the fairy tales!), play imaginary games with them (we do this so often without even realizing it because it is just one of the ways we relate to children), among the many other things we do that let the child live in their imagination.
(you will see, even if you don't play the imaginary games with them they will play them with their friends.)
Children enjoy the magic of the unknown, it gives them something very special when they receive a gift from something that they have to imagine.
There is a certain point when children don't need the fairy tale anymore and the cold hard reality of life is acceptable to them but now...more than ever...letting a child be young and live in their imagination is so very important.
I am perhaps not very good at forming my words on this matter but I thought I would at least give it a try. I would be more than happy if you wanted to keep this as a discussion and challenge or question some of the things I have said. But I just wanted to put it out there.
Wow, this one got a reaction, huh? Wes and Alex, let me say that I will try to keep an open mind and let things happen as they will. I do beleive in the magic and wonder of childhood, I just wish it didn't have such an ugly holiday tied in with it. Jess, let's make it happen.
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